I am an optimist, I believe in finding the up-side in every difficult situation. I want to believe if you are a good person good things will come to you. I believe in happy endings.
Today I woke up with an uneasy pit in my stomach. Life is complicated and it is difficult to realize when you have fallen into a pattern of any type of self destruction. As an adult it is easy to look back on your childhood and life experiences with a logical perspective but how those experiences affect you as an adult are a little tougher to decipher.
Many of us live with wounds so deep that we constantly try to fill them with self deprecating behavior. We would rather keep making the same “mistakes” then take the time to deal with the hurt, heal and re-establish a new way of life. Why would anyone choose to live in such a sad state? Because patterns are tough to break and deep wounds are so painful to heal. This is the root of so many problems in our world today! I choose to make a change.
I don’t like showing this side of me, being vulnerable is not easy and many never see it. I am all smiles with a cheer leader enthusiasm but not today (or at least not at this moment). However I am not a victim of life...I am a surviver!
I need to go hiking....
No comments:
Post a Comment